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Author: iamjakimac

Fighting those fears, one by one

It is said that once a fear is accepted, acknowledged, it becomes invisible.

It that true? I wonder.

Hmm, perhaps I could try to find out.This week I have decided to face a few fears, and see what happens.

Last week I went to the beach in a bikini. Not a tshirt over the top, sneak it off when no one is looking moment.  Nope, a fully fledged, I am walking from the car to the water in my bathers, moment. For me, that was a big thing. A brave move.

And, Holy sheep, that felt good.

Since then I have started thinking more seriously about fear, how it can cripple us, and how facing it makes all the difference. Now, I am no longer afraid to walk across the sand, to the water in bathers, the self imposed emotion attached to that one action has gone.

Yesterday I decided to visit the local backpacker hangout.

It always has such cool music, great views, and yet I have never been brave enough to step through the door. I know locals are welcome there, but somehow in my head, it was a place for the young and the hip. Sadly my brain had decided that I no longer fit into that category, and therefore I would not be welcome.

No longer.

Along the beach front, up the steps and into the bar area I went. No one looked. No one asked me why I was there. No one actually gave a shit.

And it was even more beautiful than I thought it would be. The drinks were cold, the vibe was relaxed and the scenery was stunning. It is my kinda place. I even knew the words to some of the songs playing..

Who knows why my head told me it wasn’t for me?

This ridiculous thinking led me to ponder what other self imposed fears I harbour – what generational feelings and beliefs do I hold inside, that are absolute bollocks? That I have grown up with, and have inherited accidentally.

I am about to find out… From now on, I shall attempt to smash all of my bullshit, keep me safe stories that my mind has made up. Let’s move forward once and for all.

For once in my life I will be asking “why not?” when faced with an offer I usually turn down. I will step up, I will take the plunge, I will be brave and I will face this stuff head on.

What are some of the things that your head is fearful of?

Are they fiction like mine? Just part of the stay small story that you play for yourself from time to time? Or perhaps yours too, are generational, coming from a time of famine or lack, and handed down through the family as some form of gospel.I’d love to know… 

Let us be the ones that smash through these barriers for our kids and grandchildren.

 

You Matter

Today, I have received LOUD and CLEAR, a message for someone in this group.

I need to tell you that you matter.

That your life matters. That even though you feel inconsequential sometimes, the work you do, the people you love and the world that surrounds you, need you.

YOU MATTER.

You matter to me. I love seeing your reactions to my posts on Facebook. I love your comments and your shares and your thumbs up.

You matter to your dog. He loves it when you get out of your car in the afternoons and give him that pat he has longed for all day.

You matter to the people that you help. Don’t think your compassion and volunteer work means nothing, it means a lot. You may not see the gratitude, but it is there.

YOU MATTER.

Sometimes, in a world that is social media driven, it is hard to not compare your life with others. Some people are skipping about the world and there you are, apron on, doing the washing up and wondering where your life took the wrong turn.

The thing is, it didn’t.

You are exactly where you should be. You are learning in this lifetime, lessons that you needed to. Yep, even in the mundane, there is a lesson. The trick is to find it.

I have no idea who needs this message today – but I know you are here and I know you will read this.

And in your heart, YOU will know, that you matter.

The Power of Mantras

Do you have a mantra that you live by?

A mantra can be described as a series of words that are spoken, either silently or aloud, to evoke powerful spiritual or physical change to oneself.

Years ago, when i first discovered Louise Hays and her positive teachings, I was a bit skeptical – but, having hit almost rock bottom at the time, I figured creating a mantra wasn’t ever going to hurt.

Far from hurting the situation, my mantra actually turned my life around.

And I mean – Totally.

From Homelessness to Happiness.

Having positive thoughts floating through my head all day had a profound impact on the way I viewed life in general. It impacted every area of my life. I look back now and see that it was akin to medicine for both my mind and soul.

Affirming these positive words into my thoughts multiple times a day, allowed these words to seep into my subconscious, brainwashing me if you will, into shifting my negative patterns and behaviours into positive ones.

I used mine “Thin, Healthy, Successful and Wealthy” as a kind of metronome, keeping pace with my steps as I walked each morning and evening.

Mantra’s set the mind to thinking of positive things, engaging it for good, rather than listening to the negative mind chatter that we often recite to ourselves at every opportunity. As wise Eckhardt Tolle once said, it is never the situation that hurts us, just our thoughts about that situation – or words to that effect, as I never have been good at remembering anything I read, exactly word for word.

Emile Coue, the great French psychologist used the power of what he called “auto suggestion” with all of his patients, having them repeat the words “everyday in every way I am getting better and better”, with incredible results. His suggestion is one I use often, myself.

He believed that any thought that occupied the mind, would bring that thought into reality. A little like “what you believe, you achieve” which, I think, came from Henry Ford.

Little does it matter who said what, in what year of our history, what matters most is what we then choose to create for our futures.

What are the words that you use to describe yourself, your day, your life? Are they positive?

If you really sat down and studied them, would they truly be bringing you exactly as you have asked?

Words have power, let there be no doubt of that, how you use yours is a choice you need to make carefully.

I would love to hear your thoughts around mantras – have they worked for you – when do you recite yours – and what are the words that hold the power for you?

Shift Happens

Have you felt the energy from the recent solar eclipse? Feeling kinda out of sorts but not sure why?

Solar eclipses create incredible changes to the energy patterns and levels of the Universe apparently, and a lot of people can pick up on this change.

I have been out of sorts most of the week – weird, off centred emotions, wishing I could just hide away, feeling like there is change coming but I am not sure I want anything to alter.

But this morning, I awoke re-energised. Feeling more centres, more alive, and weirdly more balanced. Like I am different, but I am also okay with that now. I feel almost cleansed of everything that has happened in the past, all the hurts I have had, all the hurts I have created – all that – gone. Lifted.

The energies have definitely shifted..

There is no limiting beliefs to hold on to anymore, those old wounds have healed and my focus is definitely forward… new energy, here I come.

I feel like the eclipse has cleared it all for us. It all feels fresh, and new, and higher vibe. Do you sense that as well?

I feel like we are all at a new beginning, a new start – one that will be super successful for us all if we choose to leave all the baggage behind.

We are all in a regeneration phase, it feels, one where we can start afresh, totally unencumbered by the past. We have ahead of us, opportunity, optimism, enthusiasm, if we so choose it.

The way forward is now clear, take all you have learned in the last 20 odd years and leap forward with confidence. The past does not dictate your future any more. No more using past hurts as an excuse to shield yourself from the future.

Step Up. Step Into Who You Really Were Meant To Be.

Practise more self care, gratitude, love every single bit of your skin, live with mindfulness and practise thoughtfulness and kindness every day.

It’s time to jump into all those things you’ve always wanted to do – get excited about life – learn more about whatever you’re interested in – it’s your time. NOW.

What will you do? What are the things that light you up? What makes you feel alive?

DO THAT!

 

 

Life – Write Now..

How many of you are journalers? Regularly?

Like every day regularly, not just when you have to for part of a 5 Day Challenge?

Let me tell you, you really should be.

Journalling has been attributed with many mental benefits, such as mindfulness, such as goal setting in order to find daily focus, and apparently even boosts brain power.

All I know is that finding 30 minutes each morning is an amazing way to bring calm to your life, focus to your thoughts and strength to your self discipline.

What if that was all it took to make your life different?

Creating a daily habit of intentional writing about life, your life, where you wish to go today, your dreams and hopes for the future, your ability to ask for help, your pre req for healthy healing, your outlet for negative thoughts – what if these things really could transform your life?

They can.

You don’t even have to have a set plan, you can write whatever comes into your head – you can ask yourself a pressing question and wait for the answer to come from within, you can follow a set of prompts if you wish. This is your journal time and a time to express yourself in whichever way you wish. Imagine the self confidence you could build, imagine the creativity that will flow from you, the clarity to your thoughts.

Making time to journal every day is a gift of self love, an opportunity to connect with your heart daily, and ask yourself the questions that matter to you.

Why not give it a whirl. Today. Because I am convinced that life is “write” now. 🙂

 

Personal Satisfaction is all that matters..

Morning Monday.

Where have I been of late?

Well aside from physically being overseas on holidays, I have also been missing emotionally. I haven’t posted here for ages and I don’t know why, to be honest.

It appears I have been lost in a swamp of same same, falling down the vortex of forever learning the next “big thing” when all I really want to do is motivate people with my writing.

That’s it. I just wanna help people feel better about themselves.

Some may call it small time thinking, some may say I am leaving money on the table, and as a business coach, I am well aware of that fact, but does the whole social media world light me up? Not any more.

I have been feeling disconnected, out of sorts and semi pissed off with my ever increasing To Do List, to create sales funnels, to make opt ins, to have lead magnets and to lure the shoppers in with all kinds of wonderful wizardry.

Bugger all that. It all feels so super icky to me, inauthentic and false.

So, as always, when I feel like the world is crashing in, I head overseas for some perspective. Last week I was in Singapore.

Fun for a week, exhausting but oh so interesting. Expensive to drink, inexpensive and delicious to eat.

But, back to my original thought, personal satisfaction.

Fundamentally I am a writer. I love to express myself through words, through painting a written picture for you to conjure up, to dream of, to think about.

I am not a marketer. I am not a funnel creator. I am a writer who travels, who knows a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff, and who has vast experience of both the highs and the lows of life. I have found myself awakened in midlife, possibly having one of the best times of my life, and if this is a midlife crisis, I am owning it.

Having the beauty of being able to blame any rash decision now on menopause, I am here today to tell you – that I am returning to writing, to laughing, to being who I am and making no apologies for it. I am forgoing the sales techniques, and the tactics that make others so much money, and give me a headache, for this, personal satisfaction.

This week I am commencing a huge rebrand, not only of the website, but of myself. Who am I when I am the happiest? Who am I when no one is looking? Who am I when I want to serve others, and what are the strengths I have been given that allow me to do so?

What do I even want my new midlife life to look like? So far in life, I have been able to manifest absolutely every single thing I have ever wanted… so what is it that I want now?

Hmmm, personal satisfaction.

I wanna wake up every morning and feel alive, and well, and happy. I want to serve others by motivating them to make more of their lives, to bring the joy back to their worlds, and understand that the future is theirs to create. I want to look out at this beautiful ocean and see children playing, whales breaching and yachts passing my window every day.

I want to feel deep happiness. I want to feel connected, loved, listened to.

I want to do everyday, things that make me happy. Like writing. Like laughing. Like making a difference in the lives of my community.

Like this.

What brings you personal satisfaction? Do you also feel that yours is becoming more important than all the “must do’s, according to society or colleagues”?

Where are you at in your life, right now? Do you feel the pull of your “truth” as well?

I’d love to know more… Drop by on Facebook and tell me how you are feeling.

 

How to Die Happy..

Recently I have met a wonderful lady out here on the island, who has written a book called How to Die Happy.

The title intrigued me as I have been searching a little lately for a topic for another Connecting Maggie Workshop.

The book is wonderful, it’s a practical guide that will keep all our information in one place, in order to help those who care for us, fulfill our wishes when we are gone. Check it out here.. 

The title has had me thinking – what would be the emotional things we could do in life in order for us to die happy?

  • Make a Bucket List and tick them off – starting right now?
  • Take the opportunity to say NO more often?
  • Surround ourselves with people who only make us feel great?
  • Listen to our gut instincts more?
  • Sleep well, eat well, get plenty of fresh air and a healthy dose of sunshine daily?
  • Use all the things we are saving for “good”
  • Seek more adventure, travel, laugh, learn about other cultures, see the world?

How come we wait until we are dying in order to start living?

Let’s change that right now.

Do ONE thing today that makes you feel alive. Stretch that comfort zone as far as you can.

Because I am The Midlife Motivator and I am here to ruffle your feathers, bring the fun back to your life, and help you understand that life really is about making yourself happy.

Till next time, remember the Universe Loves You. JQ xx

Midlife Crisis – Who ME?

Funnily enough, when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I would hear about people reaching midlife and having what we all called a “crisis” – where they would make a dramatic change to their world, buy a motorbike, get a new relationship, leave work, grow a beard, go on a road trip that never seemed to end… and I would be like, I do not understand how someone spend years living a life that they are desperately wanting to escape from..I just did not get it.
At all.

But, as I reached 40, then 50 I somehow woke up. Life had not always been kind to me, and after some super tough challenges, I had finally stumbled on a better life – and a weird theory on how to get everything I wanted.

Initially I asked to be able to find the funds to pay all of my bills, and that happened. I asked for a job that paid 20k more than I was earning, and I got that. I asked for 50k more, yep got that. Eventually I was receiving more than 200 000 a year, I had a phone, a car, a laptop, superannuation paid for every hour that I worked, every single thing I asked for, I received.

After a few years, it started to feel empty, hollow somehow. I was making huge headway into this career, yet it was important to me. Every day I would get up before the sun, travel an hour to work, to be bullied and emotionally battered by men who were old enough to know better. Old men unhappy with their lot in life, and mean to anyone wishing to make a change for the better.

One day I just decided that enough was enough. I took 5 weeks off and went to Paris. Upon my return, my position had been restructured and I was made redundant. I could not have been happier. Again, I had asked for help from the Universe and it had delivered it to me.
At the time I wanted a career where the people were pleasant, where they were receptive to change, where there was laughter and fun and co-operation. In the downturn, jobs were hard to find, so I created myself one. I started offering my experience as a business mentor and life coach for people in the throes of business start up.

And I loved it. It lit me up, helping people achieve their dreams and follow their passion to success was so empowering for me. This is the feeling I was looking for.

Around about this same time, I met a man, gentle, caring, compassionate. Someone intelligent and some who brought to the table a calming influence to the chaos that the kids and I called Family life.

Once again the universe delivered. I asked for a man who would never make me cry, who was kind hearted, generous of spirit and who would love my kids as their own. The Universe went all out on this delivery. This man is perfect, so perfect that I married him. And yes, he does look like George Clooney (if you squint a little, maybe after a glass of wine or two).

The point to that story is, that I too suffered a midlife crisis. A time in my life where I realised that where I was, was not where I wanted to stay – so I changed it.

I went from being a lonely, unsupported, overworked stress head, to a woman who was loved, cared for, supported and I had never been happier in my life. I worked with people that I loved, I was surrounded by happiness and life was wonderful.
180 degree’s polar opposite to what I had been living.

Because my kids were getting older and I was no longer needed in the same, day-to-day way, I found that I truly wanted a different life — a life that was mine — based on what I value and what I loved to do.

I didn’t want to just push down what wasn’t working. I wanted to bring it out and resolve it, or let it go. Do it, or ditch it. Now I get it — a “midlife crisis” isn’t a cliché. It’s real and it’s powerful, and almost everyone has these feelings.

I have since spoken to thousands of women, at my workshops, who’ve awakened in midlife to realizing that what they’ve created in their 20s and 30s just doesn’t fit who they’ve now become.

Midlife truly IS a time of major transition – over the years, I’ve observed that the following experiences contribute to our re-awakening in midlife and wanting change:
1) Time for re-evaluation — Realizing that your life is potentially more than half over is a jarring experience, and brings with it a sense of urgency to live more authentically and more joyfully. At 50, we just want different things than we did at 30. The death of a parent, or of close friends bring this feeling to light in dramatic fashion, and the feeling of it could be us next, starts to hit home.
2) Kids have bolted – leaving their parents at home, with time on their hands. There is more room to think, to ponder the possibilities of life, and even space to allow yourself to dream about a future that’s purely yours.
3) Longings begin to surface – Often we spend years working so hard to craft a “successful” life, and it is midlife when we start to get tired of the race to nowhere. Success starts to mean different things to us – Instead of some outward version of “success,” we long to pursue what gives us joy, excitement, passion, peace — we want to live life more fully, on our terms.
4) We have learned how to speak up – We won’t be talked down to anymore. We’ve lived through that, and we’ve learned how to stand up, speak up and power up. We won’t tolerate put-downs, manipulation or pressure like we used to. We have a voice and we are not afraid of using it.
5) Finally, after all we’ve strived for, accomplished, created and endured, you know what you’re capable of. You start to feel like you have earned this time for yourself. The feeling of not accepting anything less than what you deserve. You finally have the confidence and the courage to embrace the idea that you have been toying with for a very long time. You know that THIS cannot be all there is. You have a longing for more and you’re emotionally ready to help create it.

It seems to me now, that midlife is a natural, perfectly normal life progression that doesn’t have to represent chaos and anxiety, as I once presumed in my early years. If you’re in midlife and wondering why everything looks and feels different, don’t be alarmed. It’s normal. The key is to not resist the changes, embrace them with passion— walk directly into this new life.
Look deep into the chasms of your heart, mind, and soul to find clues of what your passion in, on who you want to become now, and what you want to build in this next supercharged chapter of life. It is time for the fun, for the laughter to come back into your life, time to live with ignited passions and reclaim your power – put away that superhero cape and learn to relax and enjoy yourself instead.

It’s a new time, inviting you to create a new, more expansive you. Do a declutter of your old life, remove any negative influences, change up your Social Media friends, remove any old junk or paperwork from around your home. It’s out with the old, in with the new time! Midlife really can pave the way to an exciting new life. It’s time to breakthrough, if you are brave enough to make the leap.

Why not me?

One of my recent conversations with a friend went something like this….”How come you get all the cool stuff, living on an island and stuff – why not me?”

“I dunno, have you ever asked to live on an island?” I said.

“well, no” she replied..

That’ll do it.

How do you ever expect to get what you ask for if you never ask?

Honestly, it is that simple.

The hardest part in making change is making the decision what you truly wish your life looked like.

My grass may look greener to some, but maybe I just water it.

What you want, wants you.

The trick is ridding yourself of all the blocks you might have that keep you from receiving.

What if all I ever did was ask and that was all it took to set the universal wheels in motion.

What is stopping you from asking? Hmmm, now there is some food for thought..

 

 

 

SHAG’ing is great for the soul…

Well, According to the book I read this morning….

I was feeling a little off this morning, nothing dramatic but just not quite right.

Because I have learned over the years to trust my internal compass, I sat down and asked myself, what it was that I needed to feel better. The answer was sunshine. I thought about it for a moment, and realised that with winter being here, there had been a few days pass since I had got my daily dose of that beautiful winter sun on my face, so off I went to the local marina cafe to read.

It is a book that attempts to outline the Law of Attraction in simple terms, and I had to laugh out loud when I got to the page entitled SHAG, Baby… It certainly got my attention..

SHAG, as it turns out stands for So Happy and Grateful. And the author Sean believes that the creation of one or two detailed lines, outlining your ambitions, written in present tense, beginning with the words “I am so happy and grateful now that…..” is extremely powerful in thrusting your mental image forward into the future, built of your dreams.

Carrying your SHAG statement around and reciting often throughout the day will encourage the seeds of possibility to commence sprouting. Training your mind of deliberately putting yourself in the picture of the future, envisioning yourself at every opportunity. Apparently SHAGing becomes easier with practise.. Who knew? 😉

So, my friends, I give you permission to SHAG morning and night, and more often if possible.

Get into a relaxed state and read out those lines, attract the fulfillment of your desire, visualise your heart’s desire…. and SHAG!