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Category: Midlife

You Matter

Today, I have received LOUD and CLEAR, a message for someone in this group.

I need to tell you that you matter.

That your life matters. That even though you feel inconsequential sometimes, the work you do, the people you love and the world that surrounds you, need you.

YOU MATTER.

You matter to me. I love seeing your reactions to my posts on Facebook. I love your comments and your shares and your thumbs up.

You matter to your dog. He loves it when you get out of your car in the afternoons and give him that pat he has longed for all day.

You matter to the people that you help. Don’t think your compassion and volunteer work means nothing, it means a lot. You may not see the gratitude, but it is there.

YOU MATTER.

Sometimes, in a world that is social media driven, it is hard to not compare your life with others. Some people are skipping about the world and there you are, apron on, doing the washing up and wondering where your life took the wrong turn.

The thing is, it didn’t.

You are exactly where you should be. You are learning in this lifetime, lessons that you needed to. Yep, even in the mundane, there is a lesson. The trick is to find it.

I have no idea who needs this message today – but I know you are here and I know you will read this.

And in your heart, YOU will know, that you matter.

Personal Satisfaction is all that matters..

Morning Monday.

Where have I been of late?

Well aside from physically being overseas on holidays, I have also been missing emotionally. I haven’t posted here for ages and I don’t know why, to be honest.

It appears I have been lost in a swamp of same same, falling down the vortex of forever learning the next “big thing” when all I really want to do is motivate people with my writing.

That’s it. I just wanna help people feel better about themselves.

Some may call it small time thinking, some may say I am leaving money on the table, and as a business coach, I am well aware of that fact, but does the whole social media world light me up? Not any more.

I have been feeling disconnected, out of sorts and semi pissed off with my ever increasing To Do List, to create sales funnels, to make opt ins, to have lead magnets and to lure the shoppers in with all kinds of wonderful wizardry.

Bugger all that. It all feels so super icky to me, inauthentic and false.

So, as always, when I feel like the world is crashing in, I head overseas for some perspective. Last week I was in Singapore.

Fun for a week, exhausting but oh so interesting. Expensive to drink, inexpensive and delicious to eat.

But, back to my original thought, personal satisfaction.

Fundamentally I am a writer. I love to express myself through words, through painting a written picture for you to conjure up, to dream of, to think about.

I am not a marketer. I am not a funnel creator. I am a writer who travels, who knows a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff, and who has vast experience of both the highs and the lows of life. I have found myself awakened in midlife, possibly having one of the best times of my life, and if this is a midlife crisis, I am owning it.

Having the beauty of being able to blame any rash decision now on menopause, I am here today to tell you – that I am returning to writing, to laughing, to being who I am and making no apologies for it. I am forgoing the sales techniques, and the tactics that make others so much money, and give me a headache, for this, personal satisfaction.

This week I am commencing a huge rebrand, not only of the website, but of myself. Who am I when I am the happiest? Who am I when no one is looking? Who am I when I want to serve others, and what are the strengths I have been given that allow me to do so?

What do I even want my new midlife life to look like? So far in life, I have been able to manifest absolutely every single thing I have ever wanted… so what is it that I want now?

Hmmm, personal satisfaction.

I wanna wake up every morning and feel alive, and well, and happy. I want to serve others by motivating them to make more of their lives, to bring the joy back to their worlds, and understand that the future is theirs to create. I want to look out at this beautiful ocean and see children playing, whales breaching and yachts passing my window every day.

I want to feel deep happiness. I want to feel connected, loved, listened to.

I want to do everyday, things that make me happy. Like writing. Like laughing. Like making a difference in the lives of my community.

Like this.

What brings you personal satisfaction? Do you also feel that yours is becoming more important than all the “must do’s, according to society or colleagues”?

Where are you at in your life, right now? Do you feel the pull of your “truth” as well?

I’d love to know more… Drop by on Facebook and tell me how you are feeling.

 

How to Die Happy..

Recently I have met a wonderful lady out here on the island, who has written a book called How to Die Happy.

The title intrigued me as I have been searching a little lately for a topic for another Connecting Maggie Workshop.

The book is wonderful, it’s a practical guide that will keep all our information in one place, in order to help those who care for us, fulfill our wishes when we are gone. Check it out here.. 

The title has had me thinking – what would be the emotional things we could do in life in order for us to die happy?

  • Make a Bucket List and tick them off – starting right now?
  • Take the opportunity to say NO more often?
  • Surround ourselves with people who only make us feel great?
  • Listen to our gut instincts more?
  • Sleep well, eat well, get plenty of fresh air and a healthy dose of sunshine daily?
  • Use all the things we are saving for “good”
  • Seek more adventure, travel, laugh, learn about other cultures, see the world?

How come we wait until we are dying in order to start living?

Let’s change that right now.

Do ONE thing today that makes you feel alive. Stretch that comfort zone as far as you can.

Because I am The Midlife Motivator and I am here to ruffle your feathers, bring the fun back to your life, and help you understand that life really is about making yourself happy.

Till next time, remember the Universe Loves You. JQ xx

Midlife Crisis – Who ME?

Funnily enough, when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I would hear about people reaching midlife and having what we all called a “crisis” – where they would make a dramatic change to their world, buy a motorbike, get a new relationship, leave work, grow a beard, go on a road trip that never seemed to end… and I would be like, I do not understand how someone spend years living a life that they are desperately wanting to escape from..I just did not get it.
At all.

But, as I reached 40, then 50 I somehow woke up. Life had not always been kind to me, and after some super tough challenges, I had finally stumbled on a better life – and a weird theory on how to get everything I wanted.

Initially I asked to be able to find the funds to pay all of my bills, and that happened. I asked for a job that paid 20k more than I was earning, and I got that. I asked for 50k more, yep got that. Eventually I was receiving more than 200 000 a year, I had a phone, a car, a laptop, superannuation paid for every hour that I worked, every single thing I asked for, I received.

After a few years, it started to feel empty, hollow somehow. I was making huge headway into this career, yet it was important to me. Every day I would get up before the sun, travel an hour to work, to be bullied and emotionally battered by men who were old enough to know better. Old men unhappy with their lot in life, and mean to anyone wishing to make a change for the better.

One day I just decided that enough was enough. I took 5 weeks off and went to Paris. Upon my return, my position had been restructured and I was made redundant. I could not have been happier. Again, I had asked for help from the Universe and it had delivered it to me.
At the time I wanted a career where the people were pleasant, where they were receptive to change, where there was laughter and fun and co-operation. In the downturn, jobs were hard to find, so I created myself one. I started offering my experience as a business mentor and life coach for people in the throes of business start up.

And I loved it. It lit me up, helping people achieve their dreams and follow their passion to success was so empowering for me. This is the feeling I was looking for.

Around about this same time, I met a man, gentle, caring, compassionate. Someone intelligent and some who brought to the table a calming influence to the chaos that the kids and I called Family life.

Once again the universe delivered. I asked for a man who would never make me cry, who was kind hearted, generous of spirit and who would love my kids as their own. The Universe went all out on this delivery. This man is perfect, so perfect that I married him. And yes, he does look like George Clooney (if you squint a little, maybe after a glass of wine or two).

The point to that story is, that I too suffered a midlife crisis. A time in my life where I realised that where I was, was not where I wanted to stay – so I changed it.

I went from being a lonely, unsupported, overworked stress head, to a woman who was loved, cared for, supported and I had never been happier in my life. I worked with people that I loved, I was surrounded by happiness and life was wonderful.
180 degree’s polar opposite to what I had been living.

Because my kids were getting older and I was no longer needed in the same, day-to-day way, I found that I truly wanted a different life — a life that was mine — based on what I value and what I loved to do.

I didn’t want to just push down what wasn’t working. I wanted to bring it out and resolve it, or let it go. Do it, or ditch it. Now I get it — a “midlife crisis” isn’t a cliché. It’s real and it’s powerful, and almost everyone has these feelings.

I have since spoken to thousands of women, at my workshops, who’ve awakened in midlife to realizing that what they’ve created in their 20s and 30s just doesn’t fit who they’ve now become.

Midlife truly IS a time of major transition – over the years, I’ve observed that the following experiences contribute to our re-awakening in midlife and wanting change:
1) Time for re-evaluation — Realizing that your life is potentially more than half over is a jarring experience, and brings with it a sense of urgency to live more authentically and more joyfully. At 50, we just want different things than we did at 30. The death of a parent, or of close friends bring this feeling to light in dramatic fashion, and the feeling of it could be us next, starts to hit home.
2) Kids have bolted – leaving their parents at home, with time on their hands. There is more room to think, to ponder the possibilities of life, and even space to allow yourself to dream about a future that’s purely yours.
3) Longings begin to surface – Often we spend years working so hard to craft a “successful” life, and it is midlife when we start to get tired of the race to nowhere. Success starts to mean different things to us – Instead of some outward version of “success,” we long to pursue what gives us joy, excitement, passion, peace — we want to live life more fully, on our terms.
4) We have learned how to speak up – We won’t be talked down to anymore. We’ve lived through that, and we’ve learned how to stand up, speak up and power up. We won’t tolerate put-downs, manipulation or pressure like we used to. We have a voice and we are not afraid of using it.
5) Finally, after all we’ve strived for, accomplished, created and endured, you know what you’re capable of. You start to feel like you have earned this time for yourself. The feeling of not accepting anything less than what you deserve. You finally have the confidence and the courage to embrace the idea that you have been toying with for a very long time. You know that THIS cannot be all there is. You have a longing for more and you’re emotionally ready to help create it.

It seems to me now, that midlife is a natural, perfectly normal life progression that doesn’t have to represent chaos and anxiety, as I once presumed in my early years. If you’re in midlife and wondering why everything looks and feels different, don’t be alarmed. It’s normal. The key is to not resist the changes, embrace them with passion— walk directly into this new life.
Look deep into the chasms of your heart, mind, and soul to find clues of what your passion in, on who you want to become now, and what you want to build in this next supercharged chapter of life. It is time for the fun, for the laughter to come back into your life, time to live with ignited passions and reclaim your power – put away that superhero cape and learn to relax and enjoy yourself instead.

It’s a new time, inviting you to create a new, more expansive you. Do a declutter of your old life, remove any negative influences, change up your Social Media friends, remove any old junk or paperwork from around your home. It’s out with the old, in with the new time! Midlife really can pave the way to an exciting new life. It’s time to breakthrough, if you are brave enough to make the leap.

Why not me?

One of my recent conversations with a friend went something like this….”How come you get all the cool stuff, living on an island and stuff – why not me?”

“I dunno, have you ever asked to live on an island?” I said.

“well, no” she replied..

That’ll do it.

How do you ever expect to get what you ask for if you never ask?

Honestly, it is that simple.

The hardest part in making change is making the decision what you truly wish your life looked like.

My grass may look greener to some, but maybe I just water it.

What you want, wants you.

The trick is ridding yourself of all the blocks you might have that keep you from receiving.

What if all I ever did was ask and that was all it took to set the universal wheels in motion.

What is stopping you from asking? Hmmm, now there is some food for thought..

 

 

 

SHAG’ing is great for the soul…

Well, According to the book I read this morning….

I was feeling a little off this morning, nothing dramatic but just not quite right.

Because I have learned over the years to trust my internal compass, I sat down and asked myself, what it was that I needed to feel better. The answer was sunshine. I thought about it for a moment, and realised that with winter being here, there had been a few days pass since I had got my daily dose of that beautiful winter sun on my face, so off I went to the local marina cafe to read.

It is a book that attempts to outline the Law of Attraction in simple terms, and I had to laugh out loud when I got to the page entitled SHAG, Baby… It certainly got my attention..

SHAG, as it turns out stands for So Happy and Grateful. And the author Sean believes that the creation of one or two detailed lines, outlining your ambitions, written in present tense, beginning with the words “I am so happy and grateful now that…..” is extremely powerful in thrusting your mental image forward into the future, built of your dreams.

Carrying your SHAG statement around and reciting often throughout the day will encourage the seeds of possibility to commence sprouting. Training your mind of deliberately putting yourself in the picture of the future, envisioning yourself at every opportunity. Apparently SHAGing becomes easier with practise.. Who knew? 😉

So, my friends, I give you permission to SHAG morning and night, and more often if possible.

Get into a relaxed state and read out those lines, attract the fulfillment of your desire, visualise your heart’s desire…. and SHAG!

 

You can’t be happy…

….if you are happy being sad.

“Hold on, wait a second, what do you mean I can’t be happy, if I am happy being sad?

What the heck does that mean? I am NOT happy being sad????”

Or are you?

Do you ever feel that you’re playing a role in life? That you are actually living according to others expectations, rather than how you truly feel?

No one, regardless of your situation, can be unhappy every single moment of every single day. Seriously, it isn’t possible.

Sometimes it isn’t even you that is making you unhappy – imagine living in a sea of negative voices, would you be floating or drowning in that kind of environment?

It is up to us to make ourselves happy – every day, we have a choice. We can wake and be grateful for the things around us, or we can piss and moan about how cold it is, how the birds are singing, how the sunlight wakes us up, or how the life partner you have chosen is still breathing.

Sometimes being unhappy becomes a habit. Some of you have been un happy for so many years, you’ve forgotten what makes you smile.

Today, find 5 minutes to do something that makes you smile – it might be pushing a child on a swing, running on the beach, reading, gardening, sewing, singing – it doesn’t have to cost any money, and it doesn’t have to take much time.

5 Minute Smiles – how can you not find the time for that? Unless, of course, you’re happy being sad.

 

 

 

You Owe It to YOURSELF

You owe it to yourself to live your best life. If you spend every day in a job you hate, with people who annoy you, and a commute which wastes half your day, you need to contemplate doing something different.

We are here on earth for a limited time – when did the rules change to say that we have to do shit that we hate the whole time we are here?

Some people go through the whole of their lives doing what is expected of them – by family, by their friends, by their school teachers and by their upbringing. They fear going against the current – they fear standing out, standing up for themselves. They fear rejection, failure, defeat. They lead lives they hate, for people that don’t have their best interests in mind.

Why?

Because to break free is not easy. Because it hurts. Because it gets uncomfortable. Because it is inconvenient. Because it is scary.

People who jump out of the box that they have spent years living in, will always come across resistance. “Whoa up there girl, you are not supposed to be successful – you’re a single mum, you have no job, jaysus, you even live in a tent!” My plans for you involve you staying right where you are, where I can keep an eye on you, control you through your inability to see the future as less fearful.

Sorry.

Being homeless is not in my long term plans. Being poor is also not in my future. Living from week to week, making biscuits and selling door to door is no longer in the equation either. I will succeed, regardless of my past situations, or circumstances. I come from a long line of successful people, and I will raise my children to be the same. My kids never knew we were homeless, they thought we were camping. They didn’t know I didn’t have the money to feed us all, they thought I was dieting.

Life is about perception. Imagination. Creativity.

We have inside us the genius, the kindness, the goodness and the capabilities to make our lives better.  We CAN choose to make our worlds a better place to be.

Yes we will hurt. Yes we may fail. Yes it will be difficult, but no more uncomfortable than continually playing small.

Yes, you will make enemies along the way – that’s life isn’t it? But imagine the people you can help, that can learn from your experiences, that you can empower with your story of success.

The only way to be truly living a life of freedom is to be unapologetically you. No longer governed by past habits, fear or other people’s opinion of who you should be.  Broken free of their low expectations of you.

Of course they will ridicule you, reject you, fear you – but in the end they will all want to be you. Rise up. Speak Your Words. Live YOUR best life.

Ask yourself, how can I help more people? How can telling my story empower people to rise, to make a stand, to make a difference?

Everyone has a story.

Even you.

What story are you telling yourself, and more importantly, what story are you showing your children?

Come join the movement – YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE FB Group – we are changing lives every single day. 🙂

 

Simple Steps to Transform Your Life

We all have something in common – everyone wants to know the secrets of having it all – living their best life – being the best version of ourselves that we can be.

And we are all very capable of making massive transformation – often a total 180 degree turn around – and quite conceivably in a very short space of time, after all who would be interested if I said “Transform your Life in 17.5 Years?”.

No, we want quick. We want visible. We want practical. AND we want it now!

Significant and long lasting transformation shouldn’t take forever, but it will mean that you must be open to embrace the change, and commit to having to step beyond your current habits or lifestyle.

Are you prepared to give something up in order to gain positive change? Are you prepared to face some challenges, perhaps an obstacle or two, in order to lead your new life? A life filled with health, happiness, success, wealth, growth, travel, whatever your heart desires?

What you do in your daily life is what I like to call your signature lifestyle  – your daily habits create your reality, whether you like that or not, it is true. You are where you are because of your past choices.

If you wish to change your life, make better choices. Empowered Decisions, and then take the inspired action required.

Living your life mission is important – sharing the gift that you have been given is paramount – understanding how powerful you truly are, is mindblowing. Everyone has a story. Everyone has been given lessons on Earth in order for them to be able to assist others out of that same situation.

Life transformation is not hard, but it takes commitment to yourself.

Knowing WHY you are wanting change, knowing who will benefit from your transformation, knowing who is on your team, and also who doesn’t clap when you win – all of these things are life changing.

Find the time. Listen to yourself. Make yourself the priority. Pick yourself First.

Keep your eyes on the You CAN Transform Your Life FB Group, the I AM Jaki Mac FB Group for the upcoming information on the 5 Day Challenge that is coming really soon.

 

 

Who Drags You UP?

Part of making a new life, a transformation for the better, is surrounding yourself with people who lift your spirits, who are on your side, cheering you on, either as a team-mate or from the sidelines.

Do you have those people in your life?

Who are the people that drag you UP, as opposed to the energy vampires posing often as a friend?

Who are the people that you have in your team, that are there through thick and thin, who are available to listen, console, celebrate, commiserate with you?

Do they make up the majority in your life? Do they outweigh the naysayers, the negative Nancy’s, the disruptive Dan’s and the vampirous Veronica’s?

Take a minute today to think about the people closest to you – Are they on your side? Or is it time for a few courageous conversations?

Love what Matters. Follow Your Heart. Make Yourself Happy. Transform Your Whole Life