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Midlife Crisis – Who ME?

Funnily enough, when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, I would hear about people reaching midlife and having what we all called a “crisis” – where they would make a dramatic change to their world, buy a motorbike, get a new relationship, leave work, grow a beard, go on a road trip that never seemed to end… and I would be like, I do not understand how someone spend years living a life that they are desperately wanting to escape from..I just did not get it.
At all.

But, as I reached 40, then 50 I somehow woke up. Life had not always been kind to me, and after some super tough challenges, I had finally stumbled on a better life – and a weird theory on how to get everything I wanted.

Initially I asked to be able to find the funds to pay all of my bills, and that happened. I asked for a job that paid 20k more than I was earning, and I got that. I asked for 50k more, yep got that. Eventually I was receiving more than 200 000 a year, I had a phone, a car, a laptop, superannuation paid for every hour that I worked, every single thing I asked for, I received.

After a few years, it started to feel empty, hollow somehow. I was making huge headway into this career, yet it was important to me. Every day I would get up before the sun, travel an hour to work, to be bullied and emotionally battered by men who were old enough to know better. Old men unhappy with their lot in life, and mean to anyone wishing to make a change for the better.

One day I just decided that enough was enough. I took 5 weeks off and went to Paris. Upon my return, my position had been restructured and I was made redundant. I could not have been happier. Again, I had asked for help from the Universe and it had delivered it to me.
At the time I wanted a career where the people were pleasant, where they were receptive to change, where there was laughter and fun and co-operation. In the downturn, jobs were hard to find, so I created myself one. I started offering my experience as a business mentor and life coach for people in the throes of business start up.

And I loved it. It lit me up, helping people achieve their dreams and follow their passion to success was so empowering for me. This is the feeling I was looking for.

Around about this same time, I met a man, gentle, caring, compassionate. Someone intelligent and some who brought to the table a calming influence to the chaos that the kids and I called Family life.

Once again the universe delivered. I asked for a man who would never make me cry, who was kind hearted, generous of spirit and who would love my kids as their own. The Universe went all out on this delivery. This man is perfect, so perfect that I married him. And yes, he does look like George Clooney (if you squint a little, maybe after a glass of wine or two).

The point to that story is, that I too suffered a midlife crisis. A time in my life where I realised that where I was, was not where I wanted to stay – so I changed it.

I went from being a lonely, unsupported, overworked stress head, to a woman who was loved, cared for, supported and I had never been happier in my life. I worked with people that I loved, I was surrounded by happiness and life was wonderful.
180 degree’s polar opposite to what I had been living.

Because my kids were getting older and I was no longer needed in the same, day-to-day way, I found that I truly wanted a different life — a life that was mine — based on what I value and what I loved to do.

I didn’t want to just push down what wasn’t working. I wanted to bring it out and resolve it, or let it go. Do it, or ditch it. Now I get it — a “midlife crisis” isn’t a cliché. It’s real and it’s powerful, and almost everyone has these feelings.

I have since spoken to thousands of women, at my workshops, who’ve awakened in midlife to realizing that what they’ve created in their 20s and 30s just doesn’t fit who they’ve now become.

Midlife truly IS a time of major transition – over the years, I’ve observed that the following experiences contribute to our re-awakening in midlife and wanting change:
1) Time for re-evaluation — Realizing that your life is potentially more than half over is a jarring experience, and brings with it a sense of urgency to live more authentically and more joyfully. At 50, we just want different things than we did at 30. The death of a parent, or of close friends bring this feeling to light in dramatic fashion, and the feeling of it could be us next, starts to hit home.
2) Kids have bolted – leaving their parents at home, with time on their hands. There is more room to think, to ponder the possibilities of life, and even space to allow yourself to dream about a future that’s purely yours.
3) Longings begin to surface – Often we spend years working so hard to craft a “successful” life, and it is midlife when we start to get tired of the race to nowhere. Success starts to mean different things to us – Instead of some outward version of “success,” we long to pursue what gives us joy, excitement, passion, peace — we want to live life more fully, on our terms.
4) We have learned how to speak up – We won’t be talked down to anymore. We’ve lived through that, and we’ve learned how to stand up, speak up and power up. We won’t tolerate put-downs, manipulation or pressure like we used to. We have a voice and we are not afraid of using it.
5) Finally, after all we’ve strived for, accomplished, created and endured, you know what you’re capable of. You start to feel like you have earned this time for yourself. The feeling of not accepting anything less than what you deserve. You finally have the confidence and the courage to embrace the idea that you have been toying with for a very long time. You know that THIS cannot be all there is. You have a longing for more and you’re emotionally ready to help create it.

It seems to me now, that midlife is a natural, perfectly normal life progression that doesn’t have to represent chaos and anxiety, as I once presumed in my early years. If you’re in midlife and wondering why everything looks and feels different, don’t be alarmed. It’s normal. The key is to not resist the changes, embrace them with passion— walk directly into this new life.
Look deep into the chasms of your heart, mind, and soul to find clues of what your passion in, on who you want to become now, and what you want to build in this next supercharged chapter of life. It is time for the fun, for the laughter to come back into your life, time to live with ignited passions and reclaim your power – put away that superhero cape and learn to relax and enjoy yourself instead.

It’s a new time, inviting you to create a new, more expansive you. Do a declutter of your old life, remove any negative influences, change up your Social Media friends, remove any old junk or paperwork from around your home. It’s out with the old, in with the new time! Midlife really can pave the way to an exciting new life. It’s time to breakthrough, if you are brave enough to make the leap.

Lessons from the Rain

Happy birthday to my brother Neville today. He would have been 61.. ha.. so hard to picture him as an old man..

The years pass, the ache lessens but the pain of what could have been never goes away. The guilt, the did i say enough, did I do enough, did I hug and love enough is always with me.

Becauses it’s birthday time for me as well, it’s always been a hard few days, this year I brought myself to the city so i could be surrounded with people, people I know and people I don’t, in an attempt to regain my perspective on the world. We get taught so much from the trials and the pains of life. This year my goal was to see what I should learn from losing him so early.

We wandered into the city and spent the day amidst the shoppers and marchers in wet n windy weather. The rain seemed to reflect my feelings on life yesterday – gloomy and heavy – yet somehow a need in order for growth. Everywhere I went, people talking about how much we NEED the rain. A simple understanding that we need the gloom, in order to blossom – Lesson Number One.

I saw People who drove past me in their Mercedes and laugh while they splashed muddy road water up my legs, and the people who sat in the rain asking for money for food, smiling and giving thanks for the coins dropped in their hat – You Do not need to be a wealthy person to be kindhearted and grateful for your blessings – Lesson Number Two

I saw heartfelt hugs and tears of goodbye at the Railway Station, I saw kids running and Dads catching and squeezing these kids hello at the airport – There is never enough time to hug, love and squeeze your family, Do it anyway. Lesson Number Three.

I also realised that being the love I had for my brother has never diminished, i just haven’t had a way of sharing it with him since 1986 – thankfully I have managed to hatch a whole tribe of people that I get to squeeze tight instead since then. I know now that love is love – its universal, and that the hugs I give one person resonates to another regardless. Lesson Number Four.

And as I sit here this morning, blubbering as has become my June 12 morning ritual since 1986, I finally realise why I do what I do.

Why I share the need for people to understand that life is short and that we need to do what makes us happy, that we need to tell the people around us that we love them, and we need to say it often, that the world runs on love, and that we need to lift the vibration of the world by sharing that love. Why I strive to impart my knowledge of how to change life, how to lift yourself by lifting others… because i have a never ending guilt that maybe I failed this wonderful man all those years ago. Lesson Number Five.

Can you do me a favour today? Stop right now and tell the person that is next to you that you love them. That you care. That the world is better off for them being in it.

Because everyone needs to know that. Everyone needs to hear that. Especially today.

For all of you who knew the man who was my brother, thank you for all that you did for him, for knowing him and loving him, and know that his memory will never fade.

I couldn’t have been more wrong…

I thought I was healed.

I thought I had done “all the work” that has soothed the wounds of domestic violence all those years ago.

I thought I am now strong, capable, able to stand in front of crowds of people and share my story of success and how I will never classify myself as a victim.

Till this week.

A policeman arrived at my door with a subpoena to appear in court to give evidence.

Evidence I had been assured that was given confidentially – which apparently was a lie.

I feel betrayed. By the system, by the Law. and by the people entrusted to uphold it.

Instantly I was a crying mess.

Within seconds my body has gone into fight or flight mode. All the emotion, the pain, the hurts, I thought had been long healed come flooding back.

The physical responses to stress – the sweating, the tears, the shaking, the urge to run, all appear within seconds.

As the law bullies and intimidates me with threats of going to jail for failing to appear, I want to vomit.

I can’t think straight, I can’t reach out my hand to take the papers, I am emotionally damaged, and I am crying uncontrollably.

I am far from healed. My trauma remains ever present, hidden beneath a thinly veiled attempt at normality after all of these years.

I am angry.

I am pissed off that the system doesn’t care for the victims or the witnesses one bit. There is no compassion, no understanding, no comprehension of what has just been uncovered. There is no clue of the PTSD recurrence his presence is causing, nor does he care.

Just take the paper lady – and show up on time.

I hate it.

I hate the fact that I have to wear this badge.

I hate the fact that still after all these years of education and campaigning that still women are being treated unfairly and are dying at the hands of a domestic partner.

I hate that I have to tell this story to help people understand the implications of their actions. That the hurt never heals. That the pain you inflict on another doesn’t just end at divorce time. The agony of it remains.

Forever.

Enough is enough.

 

So, how do I go about this Transformation thang?

You get my emails, you read my blog posts, you follow me on social media, you know that I spend my whole life teaching people how to transform their lives into something magical.

It’s my passion to show you how to shake things up, how to jump out of the swamp and into the sparkly world of manifesting and living a great life.

I bring back the fun, I open your eyes to opportunity, I help you see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

“Yeah, yeah, enough of the airy, fairy bullshit” I hear you say..

HOW? How do I do this? How do I change my life from one of lack to one of abundance? How do I do this whole revampy thing? Where the heck do I start?

“Begin at the beginning and continue until the end, then stop” as Lewis Carroll so famously once wrote.

Today, over in the YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE FB Group, we talk about starting taking responsibility for your life. We talk about making plans and taking action.

For you today, your first step is to join the group – join the motivation and join the inspiration that lives within its confines. We will soon be running a 5 Day Challenge, and all that info will be within the group.

Wanna change your life? Wanna bring back the excitement and the fun and the energy? Get over there now, we are waiting. You Can Transform YOUR Life. Be there, or be bored.

YOU CAN Transform Your Life.

What if I said to you that you really can transform your life?

Without doubt you can live the life that you have imagined – that your world can be filled with magical moments far removed from the mundane.

I think it’s easy. And I want to show you how.

Have you recently hit Mid Life and feel like your Mojo has disappeared?
Got your hands in the air asking “is this all there is to life?”
Are you wishing for the magic to reappear, to re-find your creativity or inner fire?
Do you feel like you’re missing out all the time? Your newsfeed is full of people travelling, finding success, and sharing fantastic photos – and you’re over here thinking what reality show to watch next?
You are Bored, craving connection and looking for direction.
Are you searching for more, but you’re not sure what of?”

What if I told you that You Can Transform Your Life? Revamp it, remodel it, rekindle the flames and reignite the passion and enthusiasm of youth?

Doesn’t that sound incredible?

Imagine waking every morning excited with the possibility and opportunity that might arise – spending each day finding magic and synchronicity around each corner? Having every day filled with joy and happiness, purpose and passion.

Well you CAN transform your whole life and I would love to show you how.

I will lead you through deciding exactly what you want out of life and the ways to walk right into it.

To find your own brilliance and the courage to step up into it.

To stand tall and proud, impassioned and empowered by positive change.

To learn to ask, and remove your blocks to receiving. To be brave, confident and adventurous once more.

In the new program Magnetic Midlife Magic, I will reveal the Tools for Transformation, show you exactly how to draw the magic and fun into your world, and live the life, you’ve always imagined.

Just picture life as you truly want it. A newly discovered sense of purpose, a sense of inner peace and strength, energy that soars, confident to handle any challenges that may come your way. A total inner knowing that everything happens FOR us, not to us.

All this can be yours. You can transform your life. You deserve to be living the life that you truly design for yourself. Without regret. Without disappointment.

I am in the process of creating this magic as we speak, sprinkling it with moments of genius, with tools to transform, with examples of how making positive change will transform your life.

Yes, Magnetic Midlife Magic is coming – and I am super excited to lead you through your transformation.

This programme is for you if you are open to the possibility that you truly can transform your life and bring positive change, if you are open and ready to clear away your blocks and resistance to change, if you are a mid life women looking for more, and ready to commit to a better life, full of fun and excitement.

Keep your eyes peeled – the winds of change are ‘ablowing…

 

 

Love is Everywhere – trust me

Ever wake up and just feel that incredible sense of peace? That life is heading in the right direction? That there is no resistance?

Living on the island and being afforded the opportunity of ‘not much to do’, has really allowed me to take the time to think of all the resistant behaviours I used to display subconsciously.

“No, I will not accept your gift of paying for coffee this morning”

“Let me write a pros and cons list first before I make a wonderful change in my life ”

“Allow me to outline 95 fear based reasons why that idea won’t work”

“This old dress, got it on sale” ( who else plays down a compliment when it’s given??)

Taking the path of least resistance isn’t surrender in the form of defeat, its surrender in the form of peace.

Moving your mindset from fear based thinking to adventure based has an incredible effect. Ask yourself ‘what is this situation teaching me’ – ‘has this lesson presented itself before’ – and listen for the answers.

When Lachy was sick I was given a miracle – because I asked for it and expected It would be granted. I was also shown love, in many, many forms – and I was given a message that only love matters.

In a world that seems harsh and mean and hurtful, taking the path of least resistance will often follow the path of ‘only love matters’.

Having someone that loves you and having someone to love is the most important thing in the world.

How open are you to receiving love – often disguised as compliments and gifts of morning tea?

Your challenge for today is to say thank you. For everything.

I want you to look for the ways that love is offered to you – via a phone call from a friend, via a coffee date, via the colleague assisting you at work, via a home cooked meal or someone else bathing the kids.

Love is everywhere. Sometimes you just have to look a bit harder.❤️

So much can change in just 30 days

I don’t need to tell you that life can change in an instant – the birth of a child, the death of a parent – bam, life as you knew it, is over. Change in one moment of time.

Small incremental changes can also add up – and just as water drops wear away the rocks, tiny tweaks here and there can become monumental if you persist.

My moving to Maggie was decided in a moment, and over the last 6 months, my life has changed in so many ways, some imperceivable, some very visible.

The last 30 days I’ve spent hiding in my house, tweaking my diet and my lifestyle in a positive fashion. I’ve started a new diet plan, I’ve changed my exercise routine, I have started to journal regularly and I listen to meditative music most evenings.

The change in my perception of life is palpable. I no longer stress at the weight on the scale, I no longer spend the whole day worrying about what I am going to eat or what I look like in bathers.

I feel empowered. I have made positive change in my life this time, not just the lives of others.

Bam. What a realisation that was!

For years I ate well, i looked after myself, I cared for myself. I made incredible change by changing my mindset, and then i decided to could help others achieve similar results. The more I helped, the less I looked after my own thoughts, and patterns. The more I became energetically entangled with people, the more of their energy I absorbed, and over time I became unsure of myself, worried about what people would think of me.

I retreated and I played small. I took on online coaching, so people couldn’t see me, I stopped doing Facebook Lives and Video Courses, because I was unhappy with how I looked.

Somehow my head had confused my size with my self worth and expertise, the larger I got, the smaller I became.

Until now.

Recently I have had an epiphany. I realised that I am the one in charge. I do have control over my issues, and through trial and error I found a solution that my body was craving for. But, bizarrely, not only has my self confidence started to return, but my online confidence has soared as well.

I am ready to face the world once more.

I feel like I have been a bear in hibernation, waiting for the right time to re-enter the world as we know it.

I am once again brave enough to show my face and my heart and my knowledge to the world. I now know that my procrastination period is over. The feeling sorry for myself is finished.

My time is now. The time to once again step up and into my own brilliance.

I want to teach you how to rediscover your magic, how to shake up your life and rediscover your missing mojo, I want to show you how easy it is to magentise all the wonderful things life has to offer and drag them into your own world.

The time is right, the planets have aligned and all the things I need in life are here. I have a job to so and that is to help you find your way.

I want you help you understand how to plan your perfect life, and how to execute it into reality.

Follow me, if you’re looking for the Ask, Action and Ass Kicking Plan  – watch this space.

 

 

 

ooh, I forgot to tell you….

I think I might have forgotten to tell you guys… seems a lot has happened since we last spoke.

2016 was a big year for me.

I went to Bali, I got engaged, I got married, Oobsy arrived, I went to Italy, I moved to a tropical island.

That is it in a nutshell, really, but as usual, there is so much more that goes with each story.

Looking in from the outside, it seems like the year was pretty cruisey, but inside I don’t feel like that at all. My heart was filled with to bursting point with love at times, and crushed to a pulp at others. 2016 was the best of the best, and the worst of the worst, emotionally.

I started the year determined to make it a year to be business focussed, then we got engaged and my plans were derailed. Off I went down the rabbit warren of organising a garden wedding at home. Aubree arrived in spectacular fashion and brought a sparkle back to our lives, a little missing piece of our ever expanding puzzle of family.

I experienced betrayal, and hurt, and heart bursting pride this year. It was such a polar opposite pull of emotion.

Nearing the end, I picked up my bag – and I walked out. Moved away from it all. Built a physical wall of space to distance myself from what hurt.

So, here I sit, overlooking the ocean, on a wild and windy day, watching young families play with their dogs on the beach, wondering if anyone will ever warn them about the heartaches of being a parent.

Of being blindsided by the depth of love you feel the moment you connect eyes with a newborn, knowing one day that they will probably become just a memory to you… should i rush over and say ‘see that little child, that idolises you and thinks you’re the wisest person in the world? Prepare yourself for the day they show you their friends matter more”

But, I know. The pain of a mother’s heart can’t be explained. I could never begin to outline the joy, and the crushing pain of motherhood if I tried.

So I don’t. Instead I smile and wave and throw back the ball, that the shaggy, wet dog has dropped at my feet.

“beautiful home” the Dad yells out.. “beautiful Family” I respond.

2016 is now just a distant memory, the hurts are slowly being soothed and the big love is growing bigger with every passing day. I learned a lot in 2016. I am grateful for the lessons but I pray so very hard that 2017 is a little easier on the soul.

love to you, my friends on the arrival of 2017. May it bring all you wished for, and maybe just a wee bit of what you didn’t, after all, there is no growth without a little pain.

Just One Brave Life..

Being here in the wilderness of Tasmania has given me a lot of time to think, to reflect on my business and which way I want my life to head in the future.

Everything I do, all the positivity and the motivation and enthusiasm and encouragement leads me to know that what I wish to continue is “guiding people to live their best lives” – teaching people how to win. At life, at business, at finding a partner, at just being the best they can be, regardless of their circumstances or situation.

And it has allowed me to realise that we have just one life. One Brave Life.

Yep. Just one. Some lives last for a century – some lives are cut so very painfully short. Still the fact remains, we have but one life – and we have little input into just how many days we are allotted.

What we do have control over though is what we do to fill in our days. What we do with the minutes we are gifted is what makes the difference. It makes the difference between living and just functioning.

If you were to decide today, that you are living YOUR ONE BRAVE LIFE, what would it look like? What would you be doing, seeing, actively searching for? Imagine all the things you could be experiencing, the travels, the cultures, the food…

Take a few moments to allow your mind to wander, what would your brave life look like, without anything to stop you, without blocks or hindrances?

Then go do that. Take the first step. Bravely, passionately, enthusiastically, and creatively.

JUMP.

“What’s your next thing to do? What do you feel is your next step towards realising your dream life, your one brave life? Put your hand on your heart and truly trust that inside you have the answer…..”

Stop being distracted by the shiny object, stop being led astray by yet another diversion, or allowing your eyes to wander from focus.

You have Just One Brave Life. Time to Live It.

 

 

Can someone please introduce me to Michelle Bridges??

Michelle, please?

I used to be a kinda a fan, well, as much as someone who doesn’t watch TV can be.

I have bought and wear your clothes from Big W, I gave your vitamins a whirl, and I have a sports bag with your name on it.

But love, this week you lost me.

Do you honestly believe that every obese person is sad or depressed? Honestly? Having that ridiculously narrow minded train of thought is akin to me saying that all PT’s are dense.

Surely you have learned, evolved, witnessed enough to know that generalisations like this are career destroying… not to mention soul destroying for the people trying their fucken damndest to change.

This kinda fat shaming, bullshit marketing went out of “style” with leg warmers and shiny leotards.

I am classified on a one dimensional graph as obese, and yet, I could not be happier. Fancy that? An apparent exception to your rule. Every day the fat of my belly wiggles with laughter. The muscles on my face get a great daily workout through laughing and smiling, yep, every fucken day.

My life is fabulous. My kids are fabulous. My husband to be is fabulous. My self respect extends to include being kind hearted and non judgemental to those that I meet, and even to those that I am yet to meet. I am that person who greets you downtown with a smile, regardless of your size, colour or nationality. I actually like people. And their physical appearance is not my business.

I exercise every single day. I walk, I box, I go to bootcamps and I swim. I may be what you would classify as fat, but guess what? I no longer care what you, Michelle Bridges, thinks of me.

Actually, I no longer care what anyone else thinks of me. The person that matters most in this relationship is me. The person who looks back from the mirror each morning. Those eyes that meet mine and say “good job today girl”. Those hands that splay out in front as I do yet another pushup – the muscles in my arms screaming out abuse at people just like you with every rep, that is who matters.

That is who matters. ME.

Not you and your unrealistic attitude. Not the fat shamers, nor the marketing marvels who use emotion and blackmail of “not enough” to make us buy yet another super -product. Me.

And as long as we as women, can continue to meet our own eyes with respect and pride, we WILL change the world and its narrowminded thinking.

You and I Michelle, have a common friend, but I will resist from asking him for an introduction, for the simple reason that I like to surround myself with people who lift me up, who are supportive, kind hearted and motivated.

Sadly, you are not my type of friend.

Repeat after me ladies,  I AM ENOUGH. Yes, Michelle even you, with all your flaws and mean of spirit, are enough.

#iamenough  #togetherwerise